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About the Author
Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D., was an eminent child-psychiatrist who practiced in Chicago. He was the author of many child-rearing and family guides.
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Product details
Series: Plume
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Plume; Reissue edition (December 26, 1991)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0452266556
ISBN-13: 978-0801590108
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.9 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
185 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#29,887 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Yes- its old school but it is full of little wisdoms and tools that apply for today.I was so surprised at some of the reviews complaining about spanking etc. Women were also encouraged to smoke back them to have smaller babies, they drank during pregnancies and were told breastfeeding isn't important. These were the times just like spanking kids was also encouraged. We have learned a lot and thankfully these things do not apply anymore but the tools in this book are still relevant especially with the helicopter parent epidemic. I agree with some of the other reviews that maybe a revision would be a good idea.
Honestly, the best book ever written on raising wonderful children. We used this 30 years ago with our own kids, and recently bought a copy for a younger couple we know. I re read the book before gifting it to them, and I still love their advice. Yes, some of the language is dated. Yes the book assumes that "Mother" is a stay at home person. But this was the original Logical Consequences book, and all we can say is it worked. Our three kids are all honorable, motivated and self-funding adults now, contrary to the popular myth on Millenials.
Be loving but firm.Parents talk too much. Replace talk with action.The freedom to wave one's hand stops a few inches from where another's nose begins.Those are some of the lessons I had learned in the 70s when rearing my children to be civilized, considerate and compassionate. The world came to their doors, breaking the boundaries which my protective arms wanted to hold fast. I learned from Deirkurs to let that world enter my children's world naturally, without my changing its rules. I learned from Dreikurs that daily life could be a lot simpler and manageable if we, parents, did not complicate it with over-doing and over-talking.Therefore, if you do not eat at mealtime, I will not put more food in front of you an hour or two later.If you bicker with your siblings to get my attention, I will remove myself from the situation so you can solve your problems on your own.But if you are a bully, the world will not permit you to join it ranks. You will be banned from civilized activities.I only say something once. The next time, without words (not even repeat for emphasis), I will act. (i.e., drive away without you if you are not ready, remove you from the room, take away your plate of food, put away the toy you're breaking, will not take you along on the next family trip.)If you make noise in public places, you encroach on rights of others around you. If you kick the seat of the passenger sitting in front of you, you encroach on the physical space and body of another. I will only tell you once, but if you continue, I will ask the recipient of your inconsiderate behavior to tell you to stop. It's between you and that stranger, and you'd better learn that your mom will not stand up for your right to be obnoxious.I would have hated it if my husband pointed to another woman and said, "Why can't your hair look like hers?" Yet we set up siblings against one another with daily comparisons that inevitably create competition. Avoiding such minute comparisons was the #1 rule I instructed a babysitter. None was ever allowed to tell a child to wash her hands as her sister has done, or to keep his room neat has his brother's.Dreikurs offers many practical lessons to apply to individual children and to dealing with them as a pack, all stem from his basic theory of democracy, not anarchy, recognizing others' rights and treat them all with dignity. That includes ourselves, parents, who must be taken seriously and be listened to and treated with respect.Thirty years later, I must say that Dreikurs' approach is still a great success. It had been extremely successful in my family.Talia Carner, author,Puppet Child and China Doll
I realize this book has a few statements that are not PC, even still THIS is the most sound parenting advice of any I’ve read. It is emotionally healthy for parents, children and thereby, families. Chapter two helps with effective discipline if you read nothing else in the book! Be prepared as a parent to go from “I’m the boss!†To “because this is the way our family does things.†It’s a great book for teaching kindness, non-violence, icil behavior and genuinely loving families.
This book is just SO GOOD. I have been using it for over 35 years now and every time I pick it up I am reminded, with pleasure, of how much it has helped me parent, grandparent and now professionally "parent" as a nanny.There are many excellent parenting guides out there but this is the true original. Some of the examples are a bit dated and reflect a less complicated time but the PRINCIPLES of effective parenting are well in place.I have taught parenting classes for 30 years and always have parents tell me that when they read it they feel like the author must have been looking into the windows of their home because he knows just what goes on. What's even better is that he tells you what to do about it.The chapters on Encouragement, Natural and Logical Consequences and The Child's Mistaken Goals can't be beat. Even if you just read those chapters you would have your money's worth.This isn't a 'fast read', but is one that you will turn to again and again because it explains the principles of rearing children so well. Wonderful examples.The Best of the Basics.
I raised my own children using the methodology on this book. To say they are great humans is an understatement! I just purchased this for my niece as she is a new mom. I have also said that many people spend more time researching their new car than learning how to be a better parent.
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